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The Joke of The Day
A blonde decided to decorate her bedroom. She wasn't sure how many rolls of wallpaper she would need but she knew that her blonde friend next door had recently done the same job and that the two rooms were identical in size.
"Buffy," she said, "How many rolls of wallpaper did you buy for your bedroom?"
"Ten," said Buffy.
So the blonde bought the ten rolls of paper and did the job, but had 2 rolls left over.
"Buffy," she said. "I bought ten rolls of wallpaper for the bedroom, but I've got 2 left over!"
"Yes," said Buffy. "So did I."
Things Mom Taught Me
My mother taught me LOGIC -
"Because I said so, that's why."
My mother taught me about STAMINA -
"You'll sit there 'till all that spinach is finished."
My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE -
"If you're going to kill each other, take it outside. I just finished cleaning!"
My mother taught me RELIGION -
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet!"
My Mother taught me ESP -
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you're cold?"
My Mother taught me about GENETICS -
"You're JUST like your father!"
My mother taught me about HAVING FUN -
"Click Here For a Good Time!"
My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL -
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"
My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS -
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper!"
One Poultry Joke
A butcher who was having a particularly rough day at work proudly flipped his last chicken onto the scale and weighed it. "That'll be $6.35," he told the customer.
"That really is a little too small," said the woman. "Don't you have anything a bit larger?"
Realizing that he was down to his last chicken, but not wishing to lose the sale, he returned to the freezer, paused for a moment, then took the same chicken back to the counter.
"This one," he said faintly, "will be $6.95."
The woman paused for a moment, then said, "I know what. I'll take both of them."
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